The Diary of Harley
by Psychoswordlady
Summary: When Harley was about to turn nine, his mother gave him a diary. He wrote in it every few months, documenting his innermost thoughts... and his deepest secrets. Year Four: 1998 UP
1. Feb 1995 to Dec 1995

Diary of Harley (Working title)

A drabble thingy by Psychoswordlady

(A/N: If you've ever seen the TV show, Harley is the guy with the purple hair who dresses like Cacturne. Harley's a very interesting character (cough) and so I decided to write about him. Also the layout and sentences are really choppy because he started writing in the diary when he was eight.)

8 Feb 1995

Dear Diary

This is my first time writing to you. I turn nine in a month. I'm hoping Daddy will get me another Pokemon, because Mister Poofy, my Jigglypuff I've had since I was three, seems lonely. And I want Mommy to give me an Easy Bake oven since she won't let me make my own cookies. Daddy would probably say no and try to get me a toy truck like he did last year, or a football like he did at Christmas. I don't like trucks. Football is boring especially when Daddy watches it on TV. I want to play with Mister Poofy. Mister Poofy is soft and fuzzy and he's like a stuffed toy but better, because he hugs back.

Diary, I sure hope I get what I want for my birthday. See you soon!

20 Mar 1995

Dear Diary,

Daddy ended up buying me a toy robot. I hate robots. He could have at least gotten me a doll or a Beanie Baby. Daddy never buys me toys I want to play with. At least Mommy got me the Easy Bake oven. I'm really good at it. Mommy says I should be a chef. Daddy says that's a sissy job and she looked at him funny. What does sissy mean? Is it like having a sister? Because then I wouldn't be able to do it because I don't have any sisters, or any brothers. Sometimes I wish I had one. Maybe a brother, because he'd be the only boy to play with me. At school I always play with the girls because the other boys are always throwing stuff or hitting each other, and that doesn't look fun at all. Boys are icky.

13 Aug 1995

Dear Diary,

Some mean girl took my hot dog at lunch today. She made me sad and I ran out of the room and cried on a tree. Then I was really mad. I didn't want to hit her, though, because you don't hit a girl and I'd get in trouble. Mommy had a doctor visit today. She looked a little surprised when she came back. I wonder if it's good news or bad news. Then I told her about the mean girl and the hot dog and she made my favorite food, potato soup. Also, after dinner I overheard Mommy and Daddy talking about how things are going to be now that she has cancer. What's cancer? Does it mean I'm going to get a little brother? Because that would be great.

6 Sep 1995

Dear Diary,

Mommy doesn't look so good. I mean, she's pretty like always, but she looks a little skinnier and paler. Like that actress lady I saw on the news one day. I dressed up in one of her dresses and put on her big floppy hat and her shoes and came in to cheer her up. She thought it was really cute and asked if I wanted help with the makeup. I said yes! And then she let me use her makeup box and helped me put some of it on. I did the lipstick myself and it looked really bad, so she put it on for me. I felt really pretty and wanted to go show Daddy, and he frowned and said I looked dumb. I was about to cry but then Mommy came and talked to him for a second and then he said I looked pretty and picked me up and hugged me. Then I was okay again. Also, school started a few days ago. It was fun. The teachers are really nice—they even let you play with your Pokemon during recess—but some of the kids are mean. When I was playing with Mister Poofy in the sandbox, a boy came up to me and said "Boys don't play with Jigglypuffs." I told him his Ekans was ugly and he shut up and went to bother some girls.

28 Nov 1995

Dear Diary,

Thanksgiving was this week. All our relatives came over and we ate a lot. My great-grandma pinched my cheeks and said that I was a very pretty little girl. I told her I was a boy and she said that was silly. Then Mommy came over and said, "Grandma, he's right. Harley's my son." Then she squinted at me and said that little boys shouldn't have their hair that long. I think Grams has trouble seeing. Mine's not that long—only about to my shoulders. I like my hair. It's purple and kind of curly and it gets poofy if I go too long without washing it. Mommy says it makes my eyes look green. They're more aqua colored but Mommy always says I look best in green. I wonder what I'll get for Christmas, speaking of green. I already have the Easy bake oven. Daddy will probably get me another dumb toy like a cowboy hat or a policeman playset. I'd rather have a pretty bike with streamers and pink paint. Daddy would probably agree to get me a bike because the other boys have bikes and I don't have one yet.

26 Dec 1995

Dear Diary,

Daddy got me a bike, but I don't want it. It's red and has big black tires and I think it's ugly. Mommy said she'd take me to the bike store and get pretty streamers for it and get it painted pink like I wanted it, and get new pretty white tires because the ones that came on it were flat anyway. Daddy says Mommy's going to make me a wuss. What's a wuss? Mommy looked at him funny like she always does when he says something like that, and then we went to the bike store. Oh, by the way, Mommy got me a new sweater for Christmas. It's light blue and I like it lots. Daddy said I looked tough in it. I acted like I liked it then, but I really don't like it when he says I look tough. I like it when people say I'm cute. Mommy's been sick a lot lately but she tries to act like she isn't, and she does stuff for me anyway. Mommy's really nice. I don't know what we'd do without her, because I can only cook with the Easy bake oven and Daddy can't cook at all.


	2. Feb 1996 to Dec 1996

3 Feb 1996

Dear Diary,

Mommy fell over in the kitchen one day and she had to go to the hospital. We visited her and she didn't look too good. Daddy said it's because of her leukemia. Is that like a bone or something? The doctor came in and talked to Daddy and Daddy looked kind of sad, and then he told me that Mommy wouldn't be coming home for a long time. Why are they keeping Mommy so long? I want her to come home soon and be at my birthday party. Mommy makes the best cakes ever. I think that's where I got my cooking skill from. I hope she's okay. Daddy looked really worried. I hope everything's going to be okay.

12 Mar 1996

I think this is bad news. All of Mommy's hair fell out and she looks really sick. Mommy missed my birthday party—it was two days ago. We had to buy a cake from the store. It was good but it wasn't the same as having Mommy's cake. Daddy got me a new sweater. It's light blue and I really like it. I think he's trying to be nice to me because Mommy's sick and couldn't get me anything. He only let me have six friends over so I invited Anabel, Saori, Vivian, Whitney, Daisy and Sabrina. I was the only boy at the party! It was fun, but I still wish Mommy had been there. I hope she's okay.

2 Apr 1996

I'm really, really scared this time. They wouldn't even let us see Mommy when we went to visit. I saw through the window she had a bunch of tubes hooked up to her. What are they doing to her? I hope she's okay. I cried when we got in the car and Daddy had to hold me until I stopped, which was a long time. Daddy says if the worst happens that he'll take care of me. I don't wanna think about the worst. Mommy's going to be around forever. She promised forever and ever. It's all going to be all right…

27 Apr 1996

I wish I never woke up. Daddy got a phone call in the middle of the night and then we drove out to the hospital. The doctors said that Mommy had wanted us to be there in her last moments so we went in the room and talked to her. Daddy looked almost angry but I could tell he was trying not to cry. She said some mushy stuff to Daddy and then she told me "Don't be afraid, Harley. Don't hide yourself from the world. Just follow your heart and be who you are inside." And then one of the doctors came and took me out of the room and sat me down on this bench and just started talking to me about how sometimes people have to go to a better place and I wasn't really listening, I just wanted the world to open up and swallow me and just be done with it. I couldn't stop crying so Daddy didn't bother to try to send me to school. All I could do was sleep all day.

2 Jun 1996

The funeral was two weeks ago. I was too upset to write about it until now. Everything's so different with Mommy gone. We have to either eat out or have microwave dinners, and all Daddy wants to do with me is watch football. Mommy would play dressup with me or brush my hair or play with my dolls with me. She didn't care if I played with girl's toys. Daddy keeps trying to get me to play with boy's toys. I wish he'd leave me alone and let me play with my stuffed animals and Mister Poofy. Mister Poofy doesn't like him very much.

7 Sep 1996

Summer was really boring so I didn't write anything about it. We just stayed at home most of the time and watched TV. School started again. My teachers are really nice like they always are but some of the boys are mean. Boys are always mean. The girls aren't mean to me because we like the same stuff. I don't like math class, though. It's hard. I'm not all that great at dividing and multiplication hurts my head. Some boy took my milk money yesterday. He said I was a sissy. I still don't know what sissy means but I don't think it's a good thing.

28 Oct 1996

Halloween's in two days. I wanted to go as a dancer but Daddy says I can't. He got me a Spider-Man costume. I hate it. It's really ugly. I'm going to go as a dancing Spider-Man because I still have the pretty ribbon I was going to put in my hair and the jingly scarf. All my friends thought it was a great idea and said I was really funny. I'm not going to tell Daddy because he'll make me take off the dancer stuff. I make a pretty stupid looking Spider-Man anyway because I'm kind of short and I'm pretty skinny and my hair is down to my shoulders. I would probably look better in the dancer costume.

15 Nov 1996

The whole fifth grade went on a field trip to the Styrofoam factory. It was kind of boring and I don't know why Styrofoam would relate to anything we were doing in class, but then they let us play in the packing peanuts and everyone was happy. I think we should have more field trips because everyone was too busy having fun to be mean. It seems like almost every day that some kid calls me a name. Sometimes I wish everyone was the same so nobody could be mean to other people. Because everyone's a person, and it's not OK to be mean to them.

22 Dec 1996

Christmas just won't be the same without Mommy around. Daddy will probably try to get me another stupid boy's toy or a video game or something. I miss Mommy. Maybe I'll go ask Daddy to let me use the real oven and make gingerbread cookies. I love cooking. Mommy used to let me help out by bringing her flour and sugar and stuff from the cabinets. I just wish Mommy were still around to cook with us. This year we're going to Grandma's because she's going to make a big holiday dinner. I hope she doesn't think I'm a little girl like she did at Thanksgiving last year. And I hope she likes the cookies I'm going to make!


	3. Jan 1997 to Dec 1997

17 Jan 1997

It snowed today, so we didn't have school. I made a snowman and stuck some yarn in his head fro hair and then I put my scarf and hat on him. Then I got Daddy to come look and then we made snow angels. Then we had a snowball fight, and it was lots of fun! I might complain about Daddy a lot, but I really do love him. He and Mister Poofy are all I've got left. Speaking of Mister Poofy, he's been doing well. Whenever I have a problem I can talk to him and he just sings his little song and I feel better. Of everyone I know I'd say Mister Poofy understands me best.

14 Feb 1997

It was Valentine's Day today. The teachers made everyone give each other valentines so nobody would feel left out. I just gave boring ones to the boys because I don't like them. I really don't like anyone that way yet. All the girls I know are either just my friends or mean kids. I wonder if anyone will ever give me a valentine for real.

28 Mar 1997

Some boy got detention today for calling this other kid gay. I didn't know what it meant so I looked it up in our old dictionary and it said it meant "happy" or "joyous". How is that a bad thing? I'll go ask Daddy.

3 May 1997

School's almost out. This summer I'd like to convince Daddy to let me use the real oven, because I'm sick of him not cooking. I can cook really well now, because I've been practicing whenever we go to Grams'. I'm eleven now—I think I can handle cooking every day. I also want to see if I can get another Pokemon for Mister Poofy to play with. I want something cute like a Clefairy, but they're rare and if we were to buy one it would be really expensive. Maybe a nice little plant type like an Oddish or a Sunkern. I sure hope I get a sweet and cuddly Pokemon, because I don't like the big scary ones.

19 Jul 1997

Daddy finally let me use the real oven. I made a big pot pie and it came out great! Grandma helping me really paid off. He said that I had Mommy's skill in cooking. I'm glad he thinks I'm good at it. But then he said it was a girl's job and that I should take up football or something. I hate football. I like cooking, and I read somewhere that 60 of all cooks are men. So that means it's not a girl job after all.

5 Sep 1997

I'm finally in middle school. But that means we have to wear uniforms in gym class. They're kind of ugly. The shorts show too much of my legs. I don't like to show off too much. They're an ugly color, too. I wish we could just wear what we normally do. I don't have any clothes I really like—they're all just boring white or blue polo shirts. I wish Daddy would let me buy something cute or at least pink but he says pink is for girls. Daddy's really strict sometimes.

10 Oct 1997

In gym class they put us in the health room and told us about "family life". That's their word for sex ed. They put all the girls in one room and left all of the boys in the other one and then they talked to us about "the deed". I think it's kind of gross. The whole thing was kind of gross, now that I think about it. Then they talked to us about not doing the deed until you're married. Honestly, I can't really see myself with a girl. I've always wanted a wedding, but if I ever try to picture myself with a girl something just doesn't feel right. I think there might be something wrong with me.

18 Nov 1997

Today I tried something new. I went through the box of Mommy's stuff and found one of her dresses and tried it on. It was green and flowery and it still smelled like her perfume. I found some of her shoes and put them on—I almost fit into them now. Then I got out some of her lipstick and put it on. It felt so—what's the word?—liberating. It was like she was still here, and I didn't have to fake it anymore. Around Daddy I had to fake being tough and do stuff he though boys should do, but around Mommy I could just be me and she wouldn't care. I miss her a lot. I'm sick of always having to be Daddy's little boy. I wish he'd let me just be his little Harley.

12 Dec 1997

Today in school we saw an assembly. It was really stupid, just about "don't litter" and "save trees". I think that kind of stuff is boring. Then they let us out early and so we went home and played in the flurries. I didn't feel like going outside, so I just went in my room and flipped through some magazines. I found a picture of Norman, a rising gym leader from Johto. I didn't like to admit it, but he was really good-looking. I read the article and it was really interesting. It said that he was 26 and had a four year old daughter and a newborn son, and it said if he could live anywhere, it would be Petalburg City right here on Hoenn! I think I want a poster of him in my room.


	4. Jan 1998 to Dec 1998

27 Jan 1998

I really, really hate math. We started doing this stuff called pre-algebra and it's really hard. I don't understand it at all and it's making me mad. My favorite class is probably English. It's nice to take a foreign language, and it's so funny how they say "good morning!" instead of "ohayo!" and "buddies" instead of "tomodachi" and "happy" instead of "ureshii". I think it's such a funny language, but that makes it fun to learn.

16 Feb 1998

Another Valentine's came and went. A lot of the boys got chocolate. I got some from this one girl but I didn't like her like that. There still isn't anyone I like like that at school. I wonder if there ever will be. I sure hope they're nice.

14 Mar 1998

I turned twelve four days ago. I noticed that I've gotten a little taller from last year. I've always been short and kind of skinny, so it's nice to not be the little one anymore. I wonder if I'll ever be really tall. That would be nice, because people would start taking me seriously. Being short stinks.

6 Apr 1998

I hate rain. It's been raining all week. And my shoes don't fit. They're the same ugly tennis shoes I've had for a year. I want a pair of nice pink Cons or maybe even some boots. Daddy will probably try to get me some ugly gray sneakers. I hate gray shoes—they're so ugly. In fact, a lot of the clothes I have are ugly. I wish Daddy would let me wear what I want, even though the other kids would probably laugh.

22 May 1998

When I got home from school today I ran up to Daddy and hugged him like I always do, but he sat me down on the couch and we had a talk. He said that I was twelve now and that since I was almost a man now I should start calling him Dad instead of Daddy. I didn't get why he was saying that. So I said back, "You'll always be my daddy. And I'll always be your Harley!" And he just kind of shook his head and turned on the TV and started watching baseball. I don't understand.

18 Jun 1998

Daddy caught me wearing one of Mommy's dresses and he got really mad. He yelled at me and said that boys don't do that in this house. He didn't hit me but I was still scared. Daddy yells really loud when he's mad but I've never seen him hit anyone. I felt like crying when he yelled at me. I don't know why he'd yell at me for something as little as wearing something different. I feel really stupid lately because there's a lot of stuff going on that I don't know about or understand.

28 Aug 1998

School started early this year. I like all my teachers, except Mr. Callahan, the math teacher. He's really quiet and he just reads a book or a newspaper all day. I think he's boring. I still don't like math. The English teacher is really fun, though. She lets us do basically whatever we want.

24 Sep 1998

Maybe Mr. Callahan isn't so bad after all. He brings in candy for the kids who do well, and since the first part of the year is just review, I've been doing pretty well. He's really nice and he always smiles if you go and talk to him. Maybe he was just really shy. Also in gym class we had to dance to some weird techno music because they said it was "aerobics". It was actually kind of fun, and I'm pretty good at it.

13 Oct 1998

I decided to talk to Mr. Callahan after class today. I asked him what he likes to do and he said he liked cooking and I said I liked cooking too. I think we have a lot in common. He also lent me his favorite book. It looks really interesting and I'll try to read it when I get spare time. I think he might be my new favorite teacher.

29 Oct 1998

Mr. Callahan's really fun to talk to. He never says much about his family. I wonder what they're like, and if he has any kids. I don't even know if he's married or not. He's kind of young, only 25, so maybe not yet. We watched a movie in math class just for fun today. It was about a boy who got lost in the Safari Zone and was raised by Kangaskhan. It was really funny seeing him try to fit in with humans again. I did feel a little sorry for him, though. Oh, and there's this boy in my class and he's really nice and good-looking. (I don't want to write his name down in case anyone reads this.) He's a really good athlete, too. Sometimes I find myself staring at him during class. I know most of the boys are staring at girls, but I just don't see any reason why they wouldn't want to look at him.

15 Nov 1998

I finally asked Mr. Callahan about his family. He said he doesn't like to talk about them much because they're not exactly on the best terms. I don't know why someone like him wouldn't be able to get along with his family. I asked him if he had any kids and he said no, but he wanted some someday. Then I asked him if he had a wife or a girlfriend and he went to his drawer and pulled out a picture. It was a picture of him without his glasses, and a tall blond man with his arm around Mr. Callahan's shoulder. He said the guy's name was Kyle and that they were boyfriends. I didn't know that two guys could be boyfriends, but they looked happy. I thought about that boy in my class that I kept staring at during class and finally said, "Mr. Callahan, I think I might be like you." He smiled and said he found out he was gay when he was my age. I said I thought gay meant happy and he laughed and explained that it was when a boy liked other boys instead of girls and then I knew that it was true about me too. I guess I'm not alone after all.

18 Dec 1998

Mr. Callahan showed me more pictures of Kyle and him today. I asked about him and he said that Kyle was a mechanic and that he really loved to water ski and that they had gone to the lake together and that he had Kyle teach him how to water ski but he kept falling off, and that he had tried to teach Kyle to cook but all he could make were sandwiches and burnt pies, and that the two of them had met at Kyle's sister's Christmas party when he accidentally spilled his martini on Kyle's good sweater and that they had been together for four years now. Kyle sounds like a nice guy. If I ever get a boyfriend, I wish mine was like Kyle. Or maybe that boy in my class. (His name's Lance, by the way. But I found out he was dating this girl named Lorelei, so I guess I should give up on him.)


End file.
